Quidditch playing with your wand boy
I’m gonna cast a spell
Hairy potter is ready to duel in case you couldn’t tell.
Ain’t no Hogwarts gonna get in my way
I’m clean as can be and I’m ready to play

I see you across the room at a Sex/ed show
Giving me those eyes like I don’t even know.
You’re looking at me like you’re ready to go
I feel a spasm in my chasm that runs down to my toes
You're melting the cheese in my enchilada of love
Wanna bully my wooly, want to stretch out my glove?
Come here, right now, if you’re craving my cave--
Got an opening for a new Yoni Slave.

I saw you at the coffeeshop working on your Mac,
Glasses on your nose and you were all dressed in black.
When you rose to get a muffin, I was looking at your back
And my blood was rushing like a shark attack
To my face, to that place in between my thighs
Where a bone was growin', couldn't hide from people's eyes
Couldn't hide it from yours, when I walked across the floor
To sit down beside you, and then I was sure
That like me, you were thinking what you wanted to do
If the lights went out and it was just me and you.
Then before you say espresso I'd be on you like glue.
My pants would come off and yours would too.
I’d stick that muffin in my mouth
I’d lick the cream off your spoon
I'd French Press you on the table and pump all afternoon.
I'd grind your bean like the apocalypse is nigh
With a hoodie on my goodies and your legs up in the sky.

Back at my apartment, my poochicka’s in heat
Hope you’ll make me howl like a cat on the street
You're respectful, got a condom, and you ask me what I like
Well hey there Potter, I’m gonna warm your wand all night.

Through the pink portal is where I am bound
Going to a galaxy where we’ll be shaking down
Yeah her tunnel will take me someplace wild
I'm lying in her bed with a jimmy and a smile.

There's so many games that we can play.
I'm Peter Pan, you're Wendy, or was it the other way?
You never knew how many people I could be
Now tell me, sexy thing what's your fantasy?
You wanna be spanked, bent over the desk?
I'll punish my Secretary for making a mess.
Or maybe Cleopatra is looking for fun,
Wants to see how many times her slave can make her come.

I wanna know just how you like it
Wanna know what's gonna make you scream
Got all night to please each other
You and I, enacting all our dreams.
There’s nothing that you gotta hide cus
I’m a freak like you have never seen.